I'm Indiania Jones

Swapped bike for a horse. It didn't have a name so I've called it evostick.

 

Predictably, it was a complete bastard and now my testicles hurt. The bit of leather stuff that's connected to the steering end did, er, fuck all, and the kicky bit that makes it go forwards doesn't work either.

Essentially I've spent three hours being bucked and walking round in circles. Next time I want to do that, I'll swap the b for an f and go for a walk after the pub.

We have arrived in The Gambia anyway. They speak English here which is weird, and the plug sockets are English and the vehicles have registration plates. With that in mind, you may expect the currency to not require a set of pallet trucks and a hessian sack to transport it to the shop in order to purchase a loaf - The biggest note they do is a 100 bill. That's 1.50 in proper money. My wallet looks like I've clubbed the Queen to death and ran off with her purse.

I've just been told the Queen doesn't actually carry money so that's another one dead for no reason. You get the point, I have lots of notes yet not a lot of money.

I'm also quite ill. I don't think these doxycycline tablets agree with me, so I'm stopping them. If I die from malaria, please make a 1,000 Gambian bill and put my face on it.